You are what you eat — and you definitely are whom you associate with. (Like Jim Rohn says, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”) The people closest to you make all the difference – in good and bad ways.
The problem is, it can be tough to find great new connections and friends to add to your inner circle: People who will support you, help you, encourage, motivate, and inspire you.
Fortunately it’s a lot easier to spot the people closest to you who are holding you back. Let subtraction result in addition. If people like these are close to you, get rid of them:
Devil’s advocacy is sometime helpful as an exercise, but a devilish advocate rarely advocates for anything other than their own ego and point of view. “Perspective” is often just bragging in disguise. “Voice of reason” is often just the voice of ego or the voice of a person who tried and failed and therefore thinks no one else can — or more likely should – ever succeed.
Keep the people who ask smart questions, share lessons learned and what to do differently, and offer to help if a problem does occur. Get rid of the people who invariably forecast doom and gloom based solely on their bad experiences.
Your results may vary… because you aren’t them. And you don’t need them.
On the other end of the spectrum is the person who thinks your every thought and deed is astounding, amazing, and incredible. You’re the Michael Scott and he’s the Dwight Schrute (well, most of the time).
Unconditional praise is fun but rarely helpful. None of us are that smart, that insightful, or that talented. Everyone gets it wrong. Everyone makes mistakes.
But often we don’t realize it until someone tells us.
It’s easy to tell someone he or she is great. It’s much, much harder — it takes a real friend — to tell someone he or she can do better.
Hype is the enemy of improvement. Be nice to raving fans, but don’t pay much attention to what they say.
The only raving fan you need is your mom.
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